Thursday, March 4, 2010

Anger as a key!

I never thought of anger as a key to a solution but I have been enlightened and I believe it is true. If you become angry about something that you hold dear, something you value and believe is important in the world, you might become more inclined to do something about the cause of the anger. Surely we have all been angry over many things in the course of our lifetime. I know for a fact that I am slow to anger but once I am angry it is not really that pretty. It does not feel good and it is not a place I am comfortable but it has saved my life and so for that I see the importance of anger. Recently I became angry over something that happened with a group of peopl that I know. They did something that I believed was wrong and they hurt some people that are special to me and they hurt me. Naturally there is no happy ending to this story, no good resolution or solution. I am not sure there were any winners but there were losers. Anger was not a key to this problems solution or at least it has not been the key. I will have to give things time to...fade I guess is the best way to put it. Time does heal many wounds and a patient person will wait for the healing to occur. For this particular hurt I do not think I am angry anymore but it has altered my thinking about people and it has affected my trust of some of them.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I am not happy.

I had a run in with a student today. In all the years she has been attending public school I am afraid the only thing she has learned well is that her "disability will get her out of trouble". She is more handicapped then she is aware as she has used and depended on her problems to allow her to act like a horrible human being.I cannot imagine where she will ever work where people will put up with her behavior. It scares me to think she may live near me or someone I love. She will not make a good neighbor. I am mostly unhappy because I believe that the school system, the educational system has created her, or allowed her to be this person that has few if any redeeming qualities. If I am completely honest I am mostly unhappy because I have her for years to come! Why are we afriad to MAKE the students accountable for their behavior? It is beyond my powers of comprehension... I am simply lost!

Monday, February 22, 2010


Reflection, somber and thoughtful contemplation that is what this season of the year is all about. I would like to make a wild statement and say this, I have been in reflection and somber, thoughtful contemplation for at least the last four years of my life. Frankly, it is not all that it has cracked up to be. God and I have an ongoing conversation, sort of a streaming video is how I like to think of it. So to set aside this 40 days to just be sober and reflective seems rather redundent to me. I have given some thought to this process, the dark before the joy and brillence of Easter and I am going to give it up..that is what I am giving UP for Lent. Instead of adding things to my life that I do not want to do I am going to do more of what I love to do. I am going to spend more time with my friends and my family. I am going to embrace painting, and go for as many walks with Abby as I can. When Easter arrives it will be a joyful time but it is time to be joyful now.

Monday, February 15, 2010

The Subject is Trees.

For some time now I have been considering trees as a subject to draw. They are without a doubt deceptively difficult to draw. Yesterday as I was driving home at twilight I had a chance to observe many beautiful examples of the majestic pecan without their showy dressing of leaves and greenery. I much prefer them stark and bare as this is the time when you can see how sturdy, yet delicate they are. In the cool twilight when the sun is fading and the sky is blueish purple the branches reach out and twist and turn in such a graceful dance. I have decided that I do indeed prefer the tree in it's natural state.