Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Today I went with Cody to see a Navy Recruiter. He and Erin seem ready to make a drastic change in their lives and I was happy to tag along for the first leg of this journey. He has some work to do,he has some studying he will have to work on and he needs to push himself if he wants to get in. I want this for them. I believe that they need to move on and start a new phase of their life, they have been stuck in this one too long now. For Abby and for them they need to move forward. So today was the first step on the journey. Spare prayers are gratefully accepted and needed! Jennifer's babies are starting their educational adventure and here Cody is starting one of his own. I wish them all much success, many life lessons and happy beginnings!
Friday, August 22, 2008
It is pouring down right now. Fay is being generous in her gift of water to the south. It is all good, time to reflect and be lazy! Like I need an excuse to be that! Next weekend there will be no rest as I plan an adventure up to see my babies and their sweet mom. They will be leaving soon for a trip to France that will last a long time. It is a great adventure for them and I am happy that they all get this chance, not all of us do. It just seems that I have not really had the opportunity to get to know Josh, Sophia and Emily as well as I would have liked. I am pretty sure that Josh will remember me and even Sophia but Emily will not have a clue who I am. Now, who's fault is this I ask? Mine! Just never did take the time to go and see them when I could have. Not enough that is for sure. Now I feel like whining about them leaving me and I know it is not fair. It is unfortunate that most of us just do not take the time to be with our families. I could have gone to see them more and I plan to see them as much as I can before they leave. I just want them to know that they have a family here, a grandmother that loves them, uncles that care about them and would like to know them better. Sometimes I get a little envious of their other grands. It seems that geography is on their side!!! Mostly I am just glad that Josh, Emily and Sophia are blessed with many people who really care about them. So on this rainy night while I am missing them I know that they are safe, and snug, loved and cared for which is a great gift. So good night sweet babies, I love you dearly!
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Sometimes the ahha moments in life are not about joy and goodness. Sometimes they are sad and depressing. If children are the great joy in my world they have also brought me hours of worry and despair. Right now my youngest child is causing me much worry. He is lost. I can see it, his brother and sister can see it but there is nothing for us to do. Prayer...while helpful does not satisfy the human nature. I do pray for him, for discernment and wisdom to come to him. I pray that the people who are near him are good and decent but I am not sure of that so I continue to worry. He has good qualities, I know that in his heart...his soul I know he is a good person but he is lost. I will be here waiting for him to return and I pray that he comes back to the light before he is lost for good. It sounds dramatic but there you have it. A mother's worry is often dramatic and sometimes is for nought. When he was little I use to love to go in and check on him before I went to bed. There he would be fast asleep and SAFE. I could go to bed content that all was well with his world and of course now I cannot. I know that while some of this is growing up problems there are some things that kids do that lead to a dark alley and they never see it until it is too late. If he were to remain lost to me it would be a burden to bear. Not a happy thought but there you have it. Letting go and letting them find their own way is not easy. AHHHHH
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Now there is a topic for you. Where is God? I happen to believe He is everywhere and in everyone. I have to believe that. To believe that God is everywhere only works for me if he works through people. He uses us to be there for each other, to help when help is needed, to see when something needs to be seen. So many times in my life I have needed God, as we all have. I have prayed and the pray has been answered and so many times it has been through a friend, or a child or a parent or a stranger. God is. We over think it and than we screw it up but mostly God just is. I am so thankful that He is here for me. I speak to him night and day. The best conversations are in bed but I actually speak to him through out the day and without a doubt He is with me. I see so clearly every time I see my grandbabies. I see Him in their eyes and their hopefulness. There are so many people in the world that want to define Him but there is no way to really define belief. I am thankful that for me I know that He is with me. Day and night, right or wrong He is with me. Sending me the people I need to perform the mircles that make life good. He gave me my children, my friends, my sisters, my mother and my father and ability to choose to believe in Him, and I do.